Sunday, December 12, 2010

You left.

(Yeah I was an ugly fug last time, no diff from now though. Except no braces._.)

I've been thinking why have I become so emo.
And it somehow boils back down to you.
It's been well 2 years? 3? since you left.
Well, we are still friends now.
Acquittance to be exact.

It's just so hard to let go.
That day you left I remembered I cried in the toilet for ages.
So hard to accept the fact that I had let you slip pass my life.
People may think it's stupid, I'm stupid to still hold on to this.
But it isn't.
They don't know what it is like to loose your bestfriend.

The feeling gives you hell.
A bestfriend to me is like my world, my other half, my close kin.
Then you want me to suddenly loose you.
It's like pulling out the string that connect the hearts together,
It's like severing ties with your blood related kin.
It's like tasting hell.

Yet again, no one understands.
If you think think losing your gf/bf it's the biggest heart break in your life. You obviously haven't lose your bestfriend yet.

You have impacted my life in so many ways.
I love Starbucks partly cause of you.
My first Starbucks was with you.
Most of my behavior now is influence by you.

I feel like a damn loser.
I tried letting go, I really did.

When you left, my whole life turned upside down.
It was a mess.
I had lesser friends,
My relationship with God is screwed.
I became emotionally unstabled.
I basically cried every night.

But then no one knows how I feel cause I kept it all in.
I went to school smiling telling people I don't care about you.
Then I went home crying wishing everything was like how we used to.

I really don't know why I can't let go.
My emotions are all in a mess right now.

You are obviously better than me now.
Your group of friends, Sally, Nat, Everest, etc,
And your new boyfriend.
Funny how we used to have this pact.
Who get boyfriend first must ask the boyfriend to treat us with crystal jade.
Maybe you have did this to your other friends.

Move on Shay, can I really forgetting this dark moment of my life?
Have you thought of me? Cause I have thought of you...

And even if you read this post, we can never be the same again.
The distant has made us distance.
It wouldn't be a true friendship but a pretentious one.

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