Plain Tired

I still have to smile at everyone, and hide the pain.
Cause no one likes to see me depress.
And although I am hurting so badly inside, I still have to laugh it off.
All the time, All the time.

I'm so tired of this mother fucking routine.
Sleep, Wake up, Get ready to school, Study, Distractions, LOADS OF DISTRACTIONS, cry, cry even more, suicidal thoughts, lay in bed, cry, finally fell asleep, the cycle continues.

Did you realise I never mention socializing, talking to friends?
Do I need to explain why I don't mention them?

I am so tired, and tired of people asking me to get out of it, to cheer up, to snap out of it.
Because if I knew how to do this, I wouldn't have been depressed.
And don't tell me to forget it.
BECAUSE IF FORGETTING WAS SUCH AN EASY THING I WOULD HAVE FORGET ABOUT YOU TOO.

And no I can't seem to let go of my past.
So deal with it.
You don't like me, gpoy.