Thursday, July 30, 2009

To that you.

When times are hard and you totally feel like shit,
The last thing you should do is that.
But I know at that point of time,
You feel miserable/hurt/totally want to substitute the pain with something else.
That's why you did that.
However, do you feel better?
I know I didn't.
Well, I been through that period.
Trust me.

I first did that when I'm in primary school.
& my teacher had to call my mum to tell her that.
My mum was so worried she forbid my to hold a penknife.
Than after that, I stop.
I started again in secondary school.
At that point of time, it started with blunt penknives to sharp ones.
Is nice to see blood flowing out.
It seems like the pain was going to be gone.
But it didn't.
In fact, I felt worst.

I can tell you honestly, I never stop doing that.
Sometimes I used keys, rulers, and even the sharp edges of protractor.
But did it substitute the pain?

So I wish you would stop doing it.
I mean, I'm not here to tell you what's right or wrong.
But I'm giving you a choice.
I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart that doing that doesn't help the pain.
& when people see you doing it.
They do not sympathize with you.
In fact, they find you pathetic.
Really, I'm not kidding.
My friends called me an idiot for doing it.
& they thought I'm crazy.

So please please please please don't do it again.
Don't be like me.
I had already screw my life up.
I don't want you to do the same thing.

When you are feeling pain.
You know what is the best thing?
Go to the toilet and cry.
Trust me.
When you come out, wash your face and smile at your reflection.
Though I don't guarantee that this method works all the time but at least you get to cry it off.
Oh, and don't control those tears.
You will feel worst.
Just let it out.

I love you okay, please once again don't do that again.
I'm really really concern.

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