Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I feel tired, and totally want to feel sick too.
Tomorrow bio practical, super not prepared and totally not in the mood to study too.
It just seems that all my hard work does not pay off.
& I'm quite pissed about it.

Whenever someone asked me how's life,
I would always say trying to survive it.
Than they say why?
& I simply replied,
Living life everyday is like a war.

Sometimes(Everytime) I wonder what is it like when I know I'm dying in a minute time.
Would I regret it? Would I remember my past again like a flashback?
It's scary isn't it.
To know your heart will no longer pump? To know that your blood will not flow through all the ridiculous names of veins which I find it hard to remember.
Pulmonary arteries and veins?
Is scary, I find it scary.
But I always thought of dying, or maybe like snow white?
Sleep forever...

I know this post is emo-ish, and you hate emo-ish post.
But what for pretend I'm happy about my life?
When everyday is like a challenge?
Is a challenge to even get out of bed.
Is a challenge to try and smile in school.

It's not the first time someone asked me am I okay or why I look so sad.
&& I just fake a reply saying that I was just tired.
But am I really tired?
Maybe I am, but the other part of me isn't tired.
Is just feeling really sad, and really really dreading life.

I really don't know what's wrong with me.
One moment I can say I love life and the next moment I would hate it.
I'm contradicting myself.
Oh, the irony...

Fuck my life, I ate so much today & I never exercise.
Shit, I scared I will do something foolish again.

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